I’ve hardly slept at all this last week, and I feel like absolute garbage. I don’t know what my problem is, but I spend most nights just tossing and turning. They had a bunch of free liquor at work today and I could hardly bear the thought of drinking any of it because I was so bagged. I got home tonight and promptly passed out on the couch. Of course, given my stupid body, I woke up every 30 minutes or so, and didn’t really get any rest.
I’ll be honest — the only time I’ve had a decent sleep in the last year is when I was pounding back Oxycontin tablets after my first surgery. It was the first time in ages I remember putting my head on the pillow and just falling into a deep sleep for more than a few hours at a time. To be honest, the dulling of every sensation in my body during that period was a welcome change from how I feel right now. Despite hardly sleeping at all this week, my brain has been racing non-stop. I woke up in the middle of the night last and called a co-worker in Thailand to pitch a bunch of ideas I had while my brain was working overtime in the night. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Obviously using Oxycontin or codeine isn’t an option to battle a sleeping problem, but that week I spent after my surgery catching up on sleep was the only time I’ve felt completely rested in years. As soon as I have some time I’m going to get a referral to a sleep clinic and see if there’s something physically messed up with me that’s causing me to toss and turn. I have a bottle of zopiclone here that I used to dip into once and a while to sleep, but it makes me feel like garbage and I don’t like taking it.