The Coffee Commandments

Last modified on September 14th, 2009

Some random thoughts of mine from a coffee shop.

  • Thou shalt know thy order before approaching the counter
  • Thou shalt not hog the cream station for extended periods of time
  • Thou shalt wipe up thy coffee mess after a spill
  • Thou shalt not prefix thy coffee order with more than three descriptive words
  • Thou shalt not setup a laptop on a table for six when drinking alone
  • Thou shalt not order any item that cannot be reliably pronounced
  • Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s coffee barista
  • Thou shalt not order the devil’s brew – “non fat, no-foam, extra hot latte”
  • Thou shalt not put 5 cent syrup in a 5 dollar drink
  • Thou shalt not spend more on coffee than on RRSPs or 401ks

6 responses to “The Coffee Commandments”

  1. Aaron says:

    From Scrubs: “Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry’s Perspective. One: If someone’s standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can’t decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them.”

  2. Lyndsey says:

    That was good, thanks for the smiles this morning! Now I am off to go order my usual triple American misto…Make that a’s Monday.

  3. Ianiv says:

    “Thou shalt not misspell barista”


  4. Duane Storey says:


  5. Lynn C says:

    Hilarious. I love it.

    Thou shalt not allow thine offspring free reign to pester they fellow coffee drinkers.

    Thou shalt not chat loudly on thy cell phone whilst waiting on queue.

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