Friday afternoon I had yet another enlightening visit down at St. Paul’s hospital. I actually went in rather grumpy and upset with the whole process, but about five minutes into it was greated by a really cute, friendly medical student. So, my spirits rose pretty quickly to the point where I was making light of the whole situation. It was actually rather funny, because the first little bit of dialog went like this:
Cute student: “so why are you here today?”
Me: “I have no idea”
Cute student: “what do you mean you have no idea? You came in.”
Me: “My doctor’s office called me and said to come in. They didn’t know why.”
Cute student: “So you have no idea why you’re here today”
Cute student: “Oh. Well let me see if I can figure it out.
Me: (thinking “yeah right” to myself) — “Go for it.”
Cute student: “Are you right or left handed?”
Cute student: “Do you work with your hands”
Me: “Yeah, that’s safe to say”
Cute student: “Give me your hands”
Me: “Ok, here they are”
Cute student: (Feeling my hands) “Does this hurt?”
Me: “Nope.. Feels ok.”
Cute student: (turns my hands over, feeling them all over) “How about this? Does this hurt?”
Me: “No, that feels actually pretty good”
Cute student: (stumped) “Well, as far as I can tell, there’s nothing wrong with your hands”
Me: “Yeah, I agree, my hands are fine”
Cute student: “Well, I can’t possibly figure out why you’re in the hand clinic if your hands are fine”
Me: “Uh, I’m not in the hand clinic. I came to the plastic surgery clinic”
Cute student: “Oh! Sorry!”
Me: “It’s ok. Feel free to play with my hands again if you want.”
Anyways, once we sorted all that up, she asked me to get up on the bed. After briefly getting excited, I realized she just wanted me to sit there and do some eye tests (I’m getting really good at these now. Next time I’m at the bar with you, just start dragging your finger in front of my face and watch how good I am at following it). Shortly afterwards, my doctor came in, obviously having a shitty day, and sat down. So, I cracked a few jokes and lightened the whole situation. The cool thing is for the next 10 minutes I sat and talked with two doctors and two cute medical students, and managed to actually keep up with the conversation using proper medical lingo, which seemed to impress everyone in the room.
One medical student was nice enough to point out that my bad eye was technically (cosmetically at least) superior to my good eye, a fact that the doctor immediately told her she shouldn’t ever say to a patient’s face again (however, she was *really* cute, so I just laughed it off).
And now, the best part — surgery is officially scheduled for Thursday morning. I have to show up at the hospital at 6:45am, which hopefully means I’ll be in surgery before 8am and home sometime in the early afternoon. I’m really excited to have this all behind me. I hope it all goes ok.