When Logs Attack

Last modified on April 17th, 2007

The first news of the day is that yesterday after work I picked up a new set of glasses. I still haven’t finalized all the insurance papers that will let me get a refund on the first pair, but at least I’m no longer without a pair of glasses. The ladies at the eyeglass center were nice enough to remind me to remove them whenever I decided to step out, have a few drinks and then fall down.

Unfortunately, in the process of falling the first time, I seemed to have gotten the world’s largest splinter. To make it worse, it entered at the tip of my finger, and proceeded to go down the length of the finger itself, leaving hardly any entry point.

At first, I wasn’t even really sure it was a splinter, just that my finger hurt like hell. I thought perhaps it was broken, but after being in a lot of pain for a few days, I decided to do some exploration with some tweezers. I found a small chunk of a splinter, which I promptly removed, but the pain just got worse then next day. Out of desperation, I decided to press hard on my finger and see if I could figure out where the pain was coming from. You can imagine my surprise when about 1.5 cm of soggy wood came sliding out the tip of my finger.

Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s the end of the spliter, and it really feels like there is a good 5-10mm worth of wood stuck directly in the middle of the first segment of my finger. And no matter what I do, it doesn’t seem to want to come out. I can’t for the life of me think of any way to remove it other than to ask a doctor to go in and surgically remove it, but that seems like a pile of effort and scarring. Maybe over time it will slowly dissolve or something? I really have no idea. But I know it’s difficult to play guitar with my finger all sore, and I’m not particularly fond of a chunk of wood residing in the middle of my finger.

12 responses to “When Logs Attack”

  1. Rosie says:

    Ouch! Over time, your body will naturally push the splinter out. It sounds like it’s in pretty deep, though — could take a while!

  2. Keira says:

    I feel a little nauceous after reading that. I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry your splinter sucks but daaaaang. That was too descriptive for my sensitive tummy! Hahaha…

  3. Jana says:

    When we were kids and we got a splinter, we would immerse the affected area (usually finger :)) to water for a few minutes, and then just pressed and it nicely and smoothly came out. I think you need some sort of ‘exit point’ for the splinter though, I would think. Well, worth a try.
    Ouch, 1.5cm stuck inside, that must have hurt. If you don’t manage to get it out, seek a doc, or you get a nasty inflammation there and that’s no fun.

  4. brennen Jess, and Kaede says:

    i like the soak idea, maybe dissolve some Epsom salts into the water first might lessen the pain. Regular salt will help too, i know you dont even have a can opener, so why Epsom salts? Hey maybe a nice girl could help. Someone to domesticate you, stock your house, help you tidy up. In fact forget the soak crap. Go out get hammered (for courage) and find yourself a woman. You need it buddy, you need it!

  5. Boris Mann says:

    So, um, what’s next? Accidentally swallowing a whole shot glass? Basically, I can’t wait until the Duane Story Misadventures continue…. 😛

  6. Beth says:

    Jana, I’m with you. I’d be worried about getting an infection!! You should get that checked out.

  7. Hesty says:

    Yeah dude, better to a clinic quick. Remember, it’s your good hand. 😉

  8. Kasia says:

    Ow-wow-ow-wow-ow. I’m cringing. Try the Polack remedy, guaranteed to work. Step 1: soak the finger in a shot-glass worth of vodka. Step 2: dispose of rest of bottle into self.

  9. Jana says:

    What a selection, Duane. Water, girls, vodka, doctors, you name it. I like the vodka idea. Better bite into a stick for that one, cuz it’s gonna huuuuuuuuurt. And well, don’t worry about not having Epson salt – you have Xmas lights! hehe..(do you, still?) 🙂 Now, who can beat that?

  10. Duane says:

    Yeah, I’m sure between all those choices there has to be at least one permutation worth trying. And no, I took the lights down a while ago since everyone kept making fun of me. I still don’t get it though — why take something down that makes you happy? 😛 Oh well.

  11. Duane says:

    And Boris, I’m available for parties too.

  12. tiffany says:

    probably in your best interest to just get rid of the finger altogether. watcha REALLY need it for anyway?? baaa ha ha ha!!!

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