Why Do So Many Girls Date Douche Bags?

Last modified on October 27th, 2010

So, I’m sitting here camping, and trying to figure out just why it is that most cute girls ultimately end up dating complete Douche Bags. It’s almost universal to be honest, and while there are exceptions to the rule obviously, it’s something that I’ve never entirely understood.

A friend of mine actually just got into a new relationship, and I’m pretty sure the guy ranks a nine or a ten on the Douche Bag Scale. It’s so obvious to me in fact that I really don’t understand how she possibly can’t see it. Interestingly enough, the last guy she dated was wearing a t-shirt that said “looking for a meaningful overnight relationship” the night they met, and yet despite that glowing warning sign, still ended up dating the guy. Strangely enough she said after the fact that the t-shirt should have tipped her off, and yet she didn’t realize it. And so low and behold, it was eventually revealed that he was in fact A Douche Bag, so much so that her other guy friends were warning her that he was macking other girls while dating her.

And yet, she just started dating a new guy that could be the poster boy for the hotchickswithdouchebags website. While I’ve never met him, here are a few things I’ve seen while looking at his Facebook profile:

  • Despite dating my friend, he likes setting his profile photo to photos of himself hugging or fondling other hot girls
  • His favourite Facebook application appears to be a game called “rank that babe”
  • He has several photos of himself in tight shirts and wearing cowboy hats, mostly while in the vicinity of other hot girls
  • He likes wearing shirts with motorcycles all over them
  • He recently became a fan of Nickelback on Facebook

I mean, that last bullet alone is probably enough to hit a five on the Douche Bag scale. Maybe I’m not cutting the guy enough slack, but pretty much every guy I’ve known that had some of those characteristics was in fact, A Douche Bag.

I also found another interesting resource that talks about The Douche Bag — check it out.

20 responses to “Why Do So Many Girls Date Douche Bags?”

  1. Dave says:

    This post, and that photo made me laugh out loud Duane. Love the links too. 🙂

  2. Kasia Fink says:

    Hahaha, that last bullet point kills me.

    I think you’re pushing it a bit by saying “most” girls date db’s (wouldn’t that mean most men are db’s?) but to answer your question I will just say, douchebaggery is a two way street. Not always, but often.

  3. Duane Storey says:

    Yah for sure, it’s totally a two way street. I’ll try to think of a better title.

  4. Tanya says:

    Kasia, how about:

    “why do the hottest of hot chicks attract the hottest guys and all those guys seem to be total db’s”…

    lmfao nonetheless.

  5. John says:

    I think Duane just needs some tattoos…

  6. Lynn C says:

    LOL. Hilarious and so true. and I have to agree with Ms. Kasia – It TOTALLY goes both ways. Oy. I think we are all just slightly more sensitive to our own gender’s shortcomings, you know?

    Like, when I see a decent looking, apparently-intelligent-and-gainfully-employed, overall nice dude…and then I discover that his girlfriend is either a) shrewish b) speaks in that god awfully torturous fake high pitched LA voice and has one or more other fake things about her (nails, boobs) or c) appears to be mean and/or dumb…well, I just don’t get it. And it makes me sorta feel like throwing in the proverbial dating towel.

    Or just trip them…

  7. Dale says:

    That made me chuckle, nice one. Needed it 😉

    douchebaggery is everywhere. We need a term for the chicks, too.

  8. Lynn C says:

    Douche baguettes!

  9. Duane Storey says:

    Gluten free?

  10. Kimm says:

    The last one made me laugh and think about my ex (lol)…

    I’ve dated a few… thing that pissed me off was when they take longer getting ready then I would.

  11. VancityAllie says:

    HAHA! This post is hilarious.

    If it’s any consolation, the kind of girl who would date a douchebag is probably the kind of girl who would not be a good girlfriend to date anyway for a good guy like yourself! 😉

  12. Andy P says:

    It’s a vicious cycle of douchebaggery!

  13. Tawcan says:

    So liking Nickleback immediately makes you a douchebag? Hilarious!

    I wonder the same question as you Duane.

  14. Duane Storey says:

    Not immediately — you have a 10 – 15 second window to undo your public affection for Nickelback, after which unfortunately the douche-baggery is permanent.

  15. Greg Aspa says:

    its no laughing matter when ones daughter gets caught up with low lifes ….. the influenence they have over these girls is incredible…. drugs, prostitution, weapons, this is coming from our own experience….it has a lifelong effect on them ….

  16. Bradley says:

    Various words in the English language occasionally get co-opted or changed in use over time. That is true for derogatory or slang terms.

    Originally ‘douchebag’ was a term reserved for unsavoury females whose character would be linked to the contained waste material following a doucheing operation. Bagged if you will.

    Hose bag, from which we get the uniquely Canadian derivative “hoser’, is a term that was generally associated with low status males. It is, of course, a euphemism for a (used)condom.

    Over time, the labels have been more or less universally applied. Either gender can be identified as a hosebag or a douchebag now. The slightest affinity for Nickelback will ensure this condition, as previously stated.

  17. Jules says:

    It’s definitely a two way street. Those ‘hot chicks’? Most likely neurotic, overbronzed douche baguettes themselves. The positive element of this is that they date each other. The frightening element is that they may one day procreate and inflict douche baby onto us all.
    I fear for that day.

    And I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I have not dated a douchebag in 15 years but I was fairly young and impressed by cheap beer then.

  18. JP says:

    I am confused by you image I see two of the same feather…perfect together and out of the pool. Oh and after a gander of the hotchickswithdouchebags.com I am fully and completely sold on not having a fauxhawk and weird tanning lotion.

  19. Mr.X says:

    LOL at Nickelback … I think that alone should be enough of a D-Bag warning!!!

  20. lucent says:

    i saw ur article coz i was trying to google articles on WHY I END UP W/ DOUCHEBAGS, believe me, as a woman, i also want to know why, my last relationship lasted so long — 8 yrs w/ a guy who never had a real job, who gets all his dough from me, & who gets mad if i don’t buy him expensive items, now im w/ another guy, who i thought wouldn’t be a douche given he just graduated from his residency (yes he is a doctor) but until now he still fails to get a job or get a real income, it’s already starting, i’ve been paying for most of our dates…i’d really like to know why i end up w/ these guys…i know it is my fault because i could never have the guts to break up w/ them, believe me the last one was the one who broke up w/ me!

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